Goodbye Porto

On my last day in Porto, a lady on the street asked me, “Are you from here?” It was clear she was going to ask for directions, and that I could help. A few weeks earlier I would have said, “Yes! How can I help you?” But that day, as I walked through the city and said goodbye to the familiarity of all those streets, I felt like I would be lying if I said yes.

I had just handed my house keys to the landlord. All of our things were on their way to Luxembourg in a van, and I still didn’t have a new home in Berlin. Everything was in between, floating in limbo, my future on hold. And yet, I was no longer in Porto either. It had been home, but I wasn’t from there anymore. So instead of yes or no, I simply said, “I can help.” And I did.

Porto will always hold a special place in my heart. It was my first home, my first love, my first dog, my first chosen family, my first real sense of belonging, and the first time I felt I could truly be myself. Porto was all of this and more. It held my twenties and half of my thirties. It was full of laughter that made my stomach hurt, of hope, self-discovery, pain, loss, happiness, anxiety, peace, and growth.

The people from the north of Portugal have a certain rawness and honesty that can feel intimidating, but they are also some of the warmest souls you’ll ever meet. Porto taught me to be loud and proud, to be honest without being harsh, to approach life with love and care (or at least try to), to forgive, to forget, and to move forward. Through it all, the city never stopped leaving me in awe.

I was truly happy all those years living in Porto. It really was home. Yet as I looked at our empty house, I didn’t feel sad or nostalgic. I felt at peace. It felt like the end of a cycle, one that was full and complete. I’m not sure if Berlin is the right move, but I know that leaving Porto is. It feels right, even if it’s scary. I’m stepping into the unknown, not knowing where I belong, but carrying with me all the love, lessons, and connections that Porto gave me. Whatever comes next, I know Porto prepared me for it.

Goodbye, dear Porto. I’ll be back. I don’t know when, but I will return. Until then, I promise to carry you with me in everything I do and in everything I am. You’ll always be the place I’m from, the place that made me who I am.